Tie Him to the Top of The Bus

For me, these days politics ranks right up there with cyst videos on YouTube. You know it’s going to be really gross, but you HAVE to look.

It’s not enough that Republicans have a presidential candidate who is as useless as Reed Richards (and looks like him, too). They’ll nominate a vice presidential candidate who is just as useless, and I have the perfect guy for them.

As usual, Governor Chris Christie is leading the way as the party collapses in on itself like a dying star. He’s not content with just endorsing Mitt Romney for president. Christie is procrastinating on a decision on the New Jersey Health Benefit Exchange Act (S-1319/A-2171).

Christie could have signed or vetoed the bill at any point, but he seems to be waiting until the eleventh hour. Even then, he could allow it to pass without signing it.

What is the point of him being in office if he’s just going to sit there?

The governor wasted no time ordering that flags be flown at half-staff for the late Whitney Houston. Healthcare for the living ought to have the same priority, but in our state it seems dead celebrities get the express lane treatment. (If Whitney votes in November, we’ll know for sure.)

This kind of passive-aggressive maneuvering is right up Romney’s alley. It’s no wonder these two are such good pals. Christie doesn’t want to take a stand on anything either. He’s going to let the Supreme Court do it for him.

That’s why Chris Christie would be the perfect running mate for Romney. Christie won’t ever have to retract anything, because he won’t stand for anything in the first place.

And if he takes the wrong stand on the campaign trail, Romney can always just strap him to the top of the bus.