Mommies and Sacred Showers

I might have an unusual attachment to showers.  Well, you know, as a mom, you have to take what you can get. I’m with other people constantly. Whether it’s short people who call me mom, a pretty tall dude who calls me, well, Sharon, or other people, the fact is, I am never alone.

And this is a problem for me, because I like to be alone.

Back when I worked in an office, I got to be alone a lot. Sure, there were calls that I had to take, but for the most part, I worked at my desk, pretty much undisturbed, all day long. There were days that other people were in the office, stepping on my mojo, and that was irritating, but again, usually, I was alone. 

So the lack of alone time at home didn’t bother me so much. 

Since I left the corporate world to stay home with the girls and work on my writing career (coming along FAMOUSLY, thanks for asking), I have been seeking out little moments of solitude as much as possible.

A run to the store after Daddy gets home from work, stepping out on the back porch for a few minutes while the dog pees in the backyard, sneaking to the rocking chair in my bedroom for a few minutes during a particularly engaging episode of Go, Diego, Go! This is what my life has been reduced to, folks.

And this is why my shower time is holy, blessed, sacred time.  I recently began to treat it as such. Instead of rushing in and out, ticking off in my mind all the things left on my to-do list for the day, and cleaning the bathroom before I leave, I have made a conscious decision to slow down.

What this means is that I make sure the kids are in bed, or otherwise safely occupied. If they’re not asleep, I make sure my husband is home, so he can keep them away from the bathroom door. 

Before I even approach the bathroom, I gather my supplies. I bring in my fluffy robe, my fuzzy slippers. I find a candle. I grab some reading material, and some writing material. I bring some music in with me.  I pour a large glass of wine, or water, depending on how healthy I’m trying to be. Sometimes, I grab a small snack, too. A piece of chocolate or a few crackers with cheese.

It’s a process. It’s a ritual. Just the act of getting my stuff together is soothing, and makes me feel like I’m taking care of myself. 

Once I get into the bathroom, I make some decisions. Do I want to soak in the tub for a bit before I shower? Usually, no, but sometimes, yes. Do I want to read, or write, or do my nails while I soak?  I set myself up with whatever I want to do. I make sure everything is there with me, even if I don’t use it all every time, because I just never know what I’m going to feel like doing.  I try to keep my options open.  And once I make it into the bathroom, I am loathe to leave to grab a pen or find a magazine. 

I light my candle, I find some yummy smelling soap, and I get into the shower, just luxuriating in not hearing anything but the music on my ipod and the water. 

I do the same stuff you do in the shower. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. The difference is, I don’t treat it like a shower.  It’s my daily meditation. It’s the one thing I do for myself, BY MYSELF, every day.

I think, I contemplate, I pray. I have the best ideas EVER (which is why there is always a pen and paper in the bathroom with me).  But mostly what I do, is just be. Quietly.

It is, without a doubt, the absolute best 15 minutes of my day. 

Yeah, 15 minutes. Sometimes 20 if I really stretch it out. I know, with all that prep, you figured I was going to be in the bathroom for an hour. I don’t have that kind of time, man! I have lunch to make, and a floor to wash! And I still have to finish editing a blog! And there are columns to write, like this one. 

Fifteen minutes a day in the shower, all by myself. All it takes to keep me sane.  Find your special time. You’re probably doing something every day that you can breathe some divinity into. From washing the dishes, to walking the dog, you can find something, and then all you have to do is decide that this is going to be YOUR TIME. 

It can change your life.