I would like to shine the spotlight on a disability of sorts that I have struggled with my entire life. Unlike other very real and well documented challenges that so many of us are faced with, my particular issue has not yet made it onto the radars of those in the medical community. I am offering myself up as the poster child. I suffer from sportslexia, a serious and debilitating condition that has rendered me completely unable to follow the athletic action on a court or field. The ball is snapped into play and it’s like my eyes just start to spiral and I don’t know where to look. I have had …

Since my ex moved out over two years ago, I’ve had a constantly rotating schedule of bed partners. Some of them steal all of the covers and kick me with their long legs, while others are so short that their presence barely registers in my king-size bed. What’s that, you ask? Am I some type of little person-loving, Chelsea Handler type? Have I joined the ranks of the Moms Gone Wild divorced gals? Sadly, or perhaps happily, it is usually one of my four kids who have staked his or her claim on the coveted spot beside me each night.  Often, I come home late from an endless municipal meeting to …

I dropped my third child off at sleep away camp for two weeks on Sunday and as I drove away, I had an overwhelming urge to weep, and it wasn’t because I was devastated to leave her (although she is my faithful companion). I wanted to cry because we shared a ride with our neighbors, who were dropping their two kids off for the two weeks and as we pulled away, I don’t know how they managed to refrain from breaking out into a halleluiah chorus or high fives, at the very least. But they are wonderful friends and saved the celebratory gestures until they got home to their very quiet, and very kid-…

Here are some things that I would invent if I could just find the time: a self-cleaning refrigerator; zero-calorie Chardonnay and rubber cars for my teenage drivers. The first two items would significantly improve my standard of living while the bouncy cars would help keep in check my steadily increasing car insurance premium. Since my oldest child got his driver’s license almost two years ago, and his sister this past March, there have been a total of four claims made through our auto insurance carrier (you’re welcome, Mr. USAA and all his stockholders). I’ve watched my daughter, flush with …

The other night, as I worked through the horror of discovering I could not access my On Demand feature through Verizon (curse them) and watch another naughty episode of Game of Thrones on HBO, I found myself scrolling through the guide until another show caught my eye. I clicked “Ok” and found myself engrossed, and slightly repelled, by the 1975 documentary Grey Gardens. It’s a cautionary tale of an aging mother and daughter living in abject squalor in a sprawling East Hampton shingled mansion, as their tale of broken dreams, with a side dish of crazy, unspools before the camera. Edith “Big …