Have a Scalpin' Christmas: The Bad Barbie Goes for $400+

Know what’s at the top of my Christmas list? Well, a Vitamix Blender. But also, this.

Yes, I would love the Tokidoki Barbie. Have you seen her? Obviously, a collector’s edition, a limited edition of 7,400 dolls, originally at $25, and now selling at nearly $400 a pop. Just as obviously something I’m not likely to find under my tree in a couple weeks.  

What’s most interesting to me about Tokidoki Barbie is the uproar surrounding her. Parents freaked out about the “tattooed Barbie with pink hair.”

Speaking as someone who has sported both pink and purple hair in the past, hey...freaks are people too. And I’m excited we finally have our own Barbie doll. 

Look, I have issues with Barbie, in general. Both good and bad.  I loved Barbie when I was a kid. When my friends and I played at each other’s houses, she was our go-to toy. I had a townhouse with an elevator, furniture and too many Barbies to ever fit in the room. I even had mini-Barbie food, like a teeny-tiny stick of butter on a little silver butter dish.  My Barbies had a camper, a pool (with a real working shower), horses, dogs, and even babies and little sisters.

Barbie was my thang.

But, as an adult, I can see how Barbie contributed to my skewed body image, both of myself and other women. It’s never been a conscious thing. I never look at someone and say “Huh. Barbie doesn’t have cankles, like she does.” It’s under there, somewhere though. Growing up with Barbie somehow made her unrealistic proportions my version of ideal. 

Ridiculous, since I’m dark haired, five foot four and do not have a dream house. Or a camper. Or a pool (with real working shower).

My point is, I’ll never look like Barbie. Neither will any human being on this planet, who retains all their natural human parts. Because she is a doll, and we are not.

Sometimes, I cringe when my girls play with Barbie. Most of the time, though, I play with them.  Let’s face it, there is nothing like putting clothes on Barbie. No one fills out those ball gowns like Babs.

Also, the Mattel people have been doing all kinds of good PR work with Barbie. First, they changed her proportions, to make her more realistic. They’ve also put out about three gajillion very well done animated productions starring Barbie and all her various friends and family. (Except Midge. Where did Midge go? I bet there was a big falling out there, somewhere.)

Without exception, a Barbie movie stars Barbie as some put-upon young woman. She faces many hardships and then saves the world, teaching many valuable life lessons along the way.

As a quick aside: I have to tell you that my favorite of these cinematic feats is Barbie’s Nutcracker. The characters’ movements were all choreographed by real ballet dancers, and the soundtrack is authentic Tchaikovsky.  Check it out with your little girl this holiday.

So it seems that Mattel is cleaning up their Barbie act. And then this Tokidoki nonsense comes out, with her pink hair and her tattoos. And parents go up in arms.

Well, I have a couple questions about that.  First, what parent is seriously buying their child this $400 Barbie doll? Not me. Not any parent I know.  In fact, my kids don’t even know about her. They’re certainly not playing a Tokidoki commercial on every break in iCarly.

Second, this is not the first tattooed Barbie, folks. It isn’t even the first pink haired Barbie.  Chillax.  My daughter has this one. She’s from one of the movies “Barbie in a Mermaid Tale.”  In the movie, her hair turns pink and she grows a mermaid tail.  The doll’s hair turns pink when it’s wet. And! A pink tattoo appears on her belly when it’s wet.  

Pink hair and a tattoo...sounds familiar.

And, hey, check this one out. I didn’t even know about her until I was researching this column.  Apparently, she comes with tattoos for her AND for my daughter!  This is the one we need, for sure.

So why the public outcry against Tokidoki Barbie? I have no freaking idea. But if you know, maybe you can clue me in.